I apologize for that headline, but you can only be so delicate in discussing a rectal thermometer with a Bluetooth transmitter. Along with a speedy network connection, the Vicks SmartTemp Wireless Thermometer comes with a smartphone app that allows you to track your or your child’s body-temperature stream, share the data with Apple Health and other commercial services, and upload the readings to the cloud for safekeeping and corporate scanning. I sense the device has a rich symbolic meaning, but I find that I’d prefer not to know what it is.